Wonderment is a Dangerous Thing
by Soulhost
Summary: During camp, Caelor has a wonderment...that ends up rotting her companions minds.


_Disclaimer: I not own Dragon Age: Origins or any of their characters...or the last name of the PC_

_Claimer: My dalish warrior (archer)/champion belongs to me_

_A/N: Ehehe...this started between a conversation between my boyfriend and myself; and...this....came to be ^^" so...please enjoy XD" (I need professional help...)_

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"I wonder how they get pregnant?"

Immediately, her companion's eyes rested upon her.

"Ah, your clan never mentioned anything of how the making of love pro---"

"Maker's breath, Zevran! Don't even go there!"

"And we hear this from the one who makes such love with our Warden leader."

Alistair choked on a piece of cheese he was eating and blushed to his ears. Caelor sighed heavily at her fellow elf's bluntness.

"That's not what I was talking about, _Zevran_."

"Then what were you talking about?" Leliana asked, sitting next to the dalish.

Their leader's tanned cheeks turned an interesting shade of red and ducked down next to the Mabari.

"Nothing important." It was an obvious lie.

She squeaked as she was picked up by her human lover, who looked at her with a raised brow.

"Now, now, Caelor. Be a good girl and tell us what you were saying."

She opened her mouth then closed it...then opened it again and closed it again...

"THASTI! HELP!"

Upon hearing his name, her loyal Mabari jumped up, and bit Alistair between the legs. A loud scream of pain was heard throughout the camp and a loud yelp, and two thuds.

Morrigan came over to see Alistair curled up in a ball, holding his crotch as he held back tears, and Caelor apologizing so fast to him that she could barely make out the words.

"What is going _on_ here?" She had to ask, smirking at Alistair's pain.

"I would like to know as well." Wynne came over, upon hearing the scream and Zevran and Oghren's bellowing laughter.

Caelor sighed heavily as she tried soothing the poor human.

"I cried out to Thasti for help and he, um, bit Alistair between the legs."

Thasti barked happily and wagged his little tail; Caelor couldn't resist a grin at her war dog.

"Bloody...evil dog," it was the only thing Alistair could mutter.

Thasti barked at Alistair and growled low.

"That's enough, no more fighting between you two."

She helped her fellow Grey Warden into a sitting position and rubbed his back.

"So, are you going to tell us what you were talking about earlier?" Leliana asked, grinning just a bit.

Caelor noticed that Sten came over to see about all the ruckus that was going on and that the two mages were now looking rather curious; she realized she had to submit defeat and tell them what her horrible mind was thinking.

"I was thinking...just how _did _a Broodmother get pregnant to produce a darkspawn?"

Complete silence...

"Come again?" Zevran was the first to break the silence.

The dalish groaned and covered her face.

"I mean, a dwarf Broodmother gives off genlocks, right? A human Broodmother gives hurlocks, elf Broodmother gives shrieks, and a qunari Broodmother gives ogres! But...how do they get pregnant _with_ them? Do they automatically reproduce or...does said, uh, race of darkspawn have to...you know...?"

Once again, complete silence...

"Are we really having this discussion?" It was Alistair's turn to break the silence.

"But it would explain why Broodmother has extra breasts! Like, um, a genlock orgy? Or a hurlock one? Maybe even a shriek or ogre one! Or maybe those aren't her nipples but actually extra va---"

"By Andraste's flaming sword!" Alistair jumped a foot.

"I am going to pretend I did not hear that." Morrigan walked away.

"My mind..." Leliana covered her face.

"....." Sten walked silently away.

"I think I'm going to be sick..." Zevran covered his mouth.

"Oh Maker, why did I come over?" Wynne shook her head and walked away.

"By the tits of my Ancestors!" Oghren fell backwards.

Thasti started making a coughing/gagging sound. Caelor was very red.

"Do you see why I didn't want to tell you?!"


End file.
